Self Portrait

CSU Independent Sculpture Study, 2015

As I left Colorado to attend my freshman year of college in San Diego, my most significant concern was my lack of self-cognizance. Up until college, my life revolved around social constructs that were handed down to me rather than originating from my experiences. College was the opportunity for me to break through the predefined mold of who ‘Taylor Tidwell’ was.

Evaluating my core principles during my first few years of college was not an easy process. There was a constant inner dialog of contrasting beliefs. To stop and obey the traditional line of thought I had been raised upon or continue the search to discover my truths. Not only questioning my social perceptions but discovering truths that very much contrasted those of my upbringing.

This process was constantly plagued with a sense of betrayal on both sides of my life. Although I had departed from my parents and family for college, it took years for me to solidify my beliefs and the independent perception of who I am. In my independent sculpture study at Colorado State University, I wanted to create a sculpture representing the arduous process of self-discovery. There was a visceral fear rejection from both sides at the end of this process: The past from which I came and the new to which I was trying to enter, both viewing me as foreign in the end.